Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Your Kids Don’t Need More Achievement. They Need More Freedom | Dr. Peter Gray - EP 826
What if the things we think are helping our children succeed are actually making it harder for them to become independent? Dr. Peter Gray has spent decades studying childhood, play, education, and human development. In his new book, Restoring Childhood, he argues that childhood has a fundamental biological purpose: gradually learning to take charge of your own life. But modern childhood looks increasingly different. More supervision. More structured activities. More academic pressure. More résumé building. Less unsupervised play, exploration, and freedom. And Peter believes that loss of independence has consequences—not only for how children learn, but for their agency, mental health, ability to discover their passions, and ultimately the adults they become. In this conversation, we explore: Why childhood is biologically designed for independenceWhy free play teaches children skills adults can't simply teach themHow we gradually took freedom and independence away from childhoodWhy turning childhood into résumé building can undermine agencyHow parenting and schooling can suppress a child's innate sense of agencyThe connection between autonomy, self-determination, and feeling that your life mattersWhy children discover their passions through curiosity and exploration—not planningHow school pressure became a major source of psychological stress for young peopleWhy Peter challenges the idea that smartphones alone explain the youth mental health crisisWhat parents can do today to give their children more independencePeter also shares a simple question every parent can ask their child: “Are there things that you would like to do independently that you're not doing right now?” Because restoring childhood doesn't necessarily require giving children unlimited freedom. Sometimes it starts by giving them one more opportunity to discover what they can do for themselves. Get the Full Shownotes Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Why What Matters Most Is Almost Never the Loudest | John R. Miles - EP 825
Why What Matters Most Is Rarely the Loudest What if the things getting the most attention in your life aren't actually the things that matter most? We live in a world that rewards visibility. The viral headline. The impressive title. The dramatic turnaround. The big announcement. The person who creates the most noise in the room. But some of the most valuable things in life work differently. They compound quietly. In this episode of Passion Struck, John R. Miles explores why human beings are so easily drawn toward what is visible, dramatic, and immediate—and why that can cause us to overlook the people, decisions, relationships, and foundations that create lasting value. The episode begins with the famous Joshua Bell experiment, in which one of the world's greatest violinists played a $3.5 million Stradivarius in a Washington, D.C., Metro station and collected just $32.17. The music hadn't changed. The context had. John then connects this phenomenon to markets, workplaces, leadership, and his own experience at Dell, where a promising Android and cloud strategy was ultimately abandoned amid the company's dependence on Microsoft. The deeper lesson is about salience: our tendency to notice what is flashy and immediate while overlooking what is subtle and important. In this episode, you'll discover: Why visibility and value are often two very different thingsWhat the Joshua Bell experiment reveals about human attentionWhy intelligent people can still get pulled toward hype and spectacleHow organizations can reward dramatic behavior while overlooking quiet contributionWhat John's experience at Dell taught him about confusing legacy value with future opportunityWhy human trust, dignity, culture, and connection can be harder to measure—but enormously consequentialHow conformity can cause us to abandon our own judgment when everyone else agreesWhy Alex Edmans' advice to “see the other side” is such a powerful decision-making practiceHow to use John's Signal Audit to separate external applause from intrinsic valueWhy real adaptability isn't always about moving faster—it can mean stopping, filtering the noise, and seeing what others are missingThe question to take with you is simple: Where are you giving your best energy to something loud while starving something quiet that actually matters? Because the crowd will always react to what is flashy and immediate. Your job is to learn how to recognize the signal. Grab the Full Show Notes Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
The One Question You’re Avoiding Could Change Your Life | Scott Simon & Gregory Stock – EP 824
What if the question you’re avoiding is the one you most need to answer? We often think courage means doing something difficult or frightening. But Scott Simon says the place people struggle most isn't physical courage—it’s having the courage to ask and answer hard questions. In this episode, Scott Simon and Gregory Stock bring together two decades-long bodies of work: Scott’s exploration of courage and Gregory’s groundbreaking Book of Questions, which became a New York Times bestseller and sold millions of copies. Their new book, The Book of Questions: Courage, is built around a simple idea: the right question can take you beneath the surface of your life and reveal what you actually believe, fear, want, and value. And sometimes, one honest question can change the direction of your life. In this conversation, we explore:Why asking yourself a hard question can require more courage than taking actionThe question Scott says cuts directly to the core: What lie are you telling yourself to keep yourself safe that is actually holding you back? Why great questions don't give you answers—they create space for self-discoveryHow vulnerability can make people feel more connected rather than more exposedWhy one meaningful question can turn an ordinary dinner into an hour-long conversation that people rememberWhy we often avoid deeper conversations even with the people we know bestWhat we're losing in an increasingly distracted, answer-rich worldWhich questions we should deliberately refuse to outsource to AIWhy AI can provide information but still cannot tell us who we want to becomeThe question Scott believes everyone should ask: What is something extraordinary you've done well before you felt ready or confident? One of the most powerful ideas in the conversation is that a good question doesn't close a conversation—it opens one. So before you move on with your day, ask yourself: What is one question I've been avoiding because I already suspect I know the answer? That might be where your next chapter begins. Get the full show notes Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
The Psychology Behind Why Smart People Make Terrible Decisions | Alex Edmans – EP 823
You're smart. You're informed. So why do you still make terrible decisions? We like to believe that intelligence and information protect us from bad decisions. They don't. Professor Alex Edmans, Professor of Finance at London Business School and Fellow of the British Academy, returns to Passion Struck to reveal the psychological forces that can distort our judgment—from confirmation bias and anchoring to herd behavior, emotional decision-making, and our tendency to follow whatever information is most visible. His new book, The Madness of Markets, uses financial markets to expose a much bigger truth about human behavior: the same biases that influence investors can shape the decisions we make in our careers, leadership, relationships, and everyday lives. Even Isaac Newton wasn't immune. In this conversation, Alex explains: Why being intelligent doesn't make you rationalWhy more information doesn't necessarily lead to better decisionsHow confirmation bias makes us see evidence that supports what we already believeWhy we tend to overreact to information that's flashy, visible, and impossible to ignoreHow anchoring causes the first information we encounter to influence our later judgmentWhy millions of people making the same mistake can create collective irrationality rather than canceling one another outHow compelling stories can overpower better evidenceWhy culture, human capital, reputation, and innovation can matter enormously even when they're difficult to measureWhy AI may change the decisions humans make without eliminating human biasAnd the one question Alex believes can make you wiser: “What is the other side?”Alex's advice extends far beyond investing. Before you change jobs, relocate, end a relationship, make a major purchase, or commit to an important belief, look for the strongest argument against your own position. If you can't see it yourself, find someone you trust who disagrees with you and ask them to make the case. Because becoming a better decision-maker isn't always about knowing more. Sometimes it's about learning to see what you're missing. Listen to the full shownotes Download the FREE Companion Digital Workbook Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
What If the Proof You're Waiting For Never Comes? | John R. Miles - EP 822
What if the proof you're waiting for never comes? The apology. The promotion. The recognition. Someone finally admitting they were wrong about you. Someone finally telling you that you belong. What if you're waiting for proof that you don't actually need? After conversations with Cole Brauer and psychologist Marisa Franco, John R. Miles noticed a powerful connection between their work. Cole was told she was too small to survive the Southern Ocean. A year later, she sailed solo, nonstop, and unassisted around the world—without ever receiving the apology or reversal she had been waiting for. Marisa's research reveals the other side of the equation: when we already believe we're unworthy, even love, success, compliments, and positive feedback can fail to change that belief. Sometimes, the evidence simply doesn't match the story we already carry about ourselves. In this solo episode, John brings those two ideas together to explore The Verification Trap—the tendency to wait for external proof before allowing ourselves to believe we're capable, worthy, or ready to move forward. You'll discover: Why a genuine compliment can sometimes make people feel worse instead of betterHow rejection can become part of the story you believe about yourselfWhy success and achievement don't necessarily resolve a deeper sense of unworthinessHow your memories can become a database that filters the evidence you receiveWhy waiting for someone to reverse their judgment can keep you stuckThe difference between being validated and actually believing you're worthyWhat Cole Brauer's story teaches us about moving forward without permissionWhy healing requires honesty rather than constantly trying to become a better version of yourselfJohn's two-question Verification Check for identifying where you're waiting for external proofHow to take the smallest possible step toward something you've been waiting for permission to doAnd John gets personal, sharing a previously untold chapter of his own life and what rebuilding after divorce taught him about validation, action, and self-trust. He realized that the proof didn't come before he moved forward. The proof came after. The Verification CheckAsk yourself: What specific proof am I waiting for before I let myself move forward? Then ask: If that proof never arrives, is there a version of this where I go anyway? Because sometimes you don't need the verdict reversed. You need to leave the dock. Read the Full Show Notes Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Why Nothing You Achieve Will Ever Make You Feel Worthy | Marisa G. Franco – EP 821
Why do you still feel like you're not enough—even when your life looks successful from the outside? You can have a successful career, loving relationships, and people who genuinely care about you—and still struggle to believe you're worthy of love, connection, or belonging. Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of the New York Times bestseller Platonic, returns to Passion Struck to explore the deeper science behind self-worth in her new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. Her argument challenges one of the most common ideas about self-esteem: you don't become worthy by achieving more, becoming more impressive, or convincing yourself that you're extraordinary. Instead, worth begins with something much harder—and much more honest: learning to accept yourself as you are. In this conversation, Marisa explains: Why achievement, compliments, and positive affirmations often fail to fix low self-worthHow childhood memories can become the lens through which we predict rejection, abandonment, or failureWhy trying to appear “secure” can actually disconnect you from your authentic selfThe hidden cost of making your worth dependent on achievementWhy healing isn't becoming a better version of yourself—it's reconnecting with the parts of yourself you've learned to ignoreWhat “open memories” are and why unresolved experiences can continue shaping how you see yourself decades laterHow attachment styles can be understood as adaptive responses rather than fixed identitiesWhy we need to stop treating our emotions as problems to solve and start allowing them to move through usHow memory reconsolidation may help us create new meaning around painful experiencesWhy sometimes becoming healthier means allowing a relationship to end rather than abandoning yourself to save itOne of the most powerful ideas in our conversation is this: The goal isn't to convince yourself that you're extraordinary. It's to recognize that you're worthy even when you're ordinary. Marisa's work offers a different way to think about healing: not as a project of optimization, but as the process of coming home to yourself. Click here for the full shownotes Download the FREE Companion Digital Workbook here. Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
How to Believe in Yourself When Everyone Tells You “You Can’t” | Cole Brauer - EP 820
What happens when someone tells you that you're too small to do the thing you've been working toward your entire life? For Cole Brauer, that moment could have been the end of the story. Instead, it became part of the beginning. Cole was told she was too short to compete in the Southern Ocean. She was cut from a major team after traveling across the Atlantic and giving up paid opportunities to pursue the dream. A year later, she was sailing solo around the world. But what makes Cole's story so compelling isn't simply the achievement. It's everything she had to become along the way. Cole grew up in a small town on Long Island, moved across the country, changed academic and career directions, lived in a van, taught herself the mechanical, electrical, and rigging systems of a boat, and eventually found a community and a purpose through sailing. Then came the ultimate test: more than 130 days alone at sea. She talks openly about the loneliness and anxiety that hit her roughly two weeks into the voyage, when the team and community she had relied on suddenly disappeared. Instead of trying to suppress those feelings, she learned to understand them, participate in nature, take care of her body, and keep moving forward. Cole also shares why she chose her boat over the possibility of winning when she encountered two massive storms near Cape Horn, why First Light became more than a vessel to her, and how that relationship ultimately became a mirror through which she learned to see herself differently. In this conversation, we explore: What to do when someone else's definition of you becomes a limitation you start believing yourself.Why Cole sees rock bottom not simply as failure, but as a place from which you can begin climbing again.How purpose can sustain you when money, fame, and recognition aren't enough.Why Cole believes our lives aren't predetermined and that we can restart far more times than we think.What four months alone at sea taught her about loneliness, anxiety, self-care, and self-trust.Why nature became one of Cole's greatest teachers and helped make the unpredictable feel more understandable.How she learned to separate emotional reactions from the decisions she needed to make in moments of crisis.Why she chose to protect First Light rather than risk the boat for a chance at winning near Cape Horn.How gratitude helped her recognize the people who made the journey possible.Why the solo journey wasn't the end of Cole's transformation, but the beginning of discovering who she really was. Cole's story is ultimately a reminder that adaptation isn't always about becoming someone new. Sometimes it's about discovering who you were capable of becoming all along. And sometimes the people who tell you that you can't are simply showing you the limits of their imagination. As Cole says, when someone tells you there's no way you can do something, sometimes the only answer is: "Yeah, okay. Just watch me." Get the Full Shownotes Download the FREE Companion Workbook Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
The Agency Paradox: Why Real Adaptability Starts Inside the Box | John R. Miles - EP 819
What if having more freedom doesn't always make you more free? We tend to believe that adaptability means having more options, more resources, more independence, and more control. But after conversations with Martin Seligman and David Epstein, I began to see a different pattern. Sometimes unlimited freedom creates paralysis. Sometimes individual willpower becomes isolation. And sometimes our greatest breakthroughs happen not when we escape our constraints, but when we learn how to work intelligently within them. That's the paradox at the heart of this episode. David Epstein's Inside the Box shows how constraints can focus creativity and turn seemingly small problems into breakthroughs. Martin Seligman's Agency asks a deeper question: What happens when human beings believe their actions can actually change the future? Put those ideas together, and a new definition of adaptability emerges. Real adaptability isn't about controlling everything. It's about knowing where you have agency—and using it well. In this episode, I explore: Why General Magic's enormous freedom became one of its greatest weaknesses—and how smaller, more focused ideas became eBay and the PalmPilot. Why Mendeleev's breakthrough began with a textbook deadline rather than a magical dream. The first question of the Agency Check: What constraint are you running away from that might actually contain your focus? What my experience at Lowe's taught me about the danger of trying to solve enormous problems all at once. Why UPS discovered that its routing challenge was ultimately a human learning and change-management problem, not simply a technology problem. Martin Seligman's distinction between "I can" and "we can"—and why sustainable progress requires both individual and collective agency. Why unlimited information can create a poverty of attention, and what Gloria Mark's research reveals about the cost of constant task switching. David Epstein's Hemingway Principle for protecting tomorrow's most important work from today's urgent distractions. How to conduct your own Constraint Check and Agency Check when you're feeling stuck or helpless. The question isn't whether you can control everything. You can't. The question is whether you can identify what is actually within your agency, stop wasting energy fighting what isn't, and then act with intention inside the reality you've been given. Because adaptability isn't unlimited freedom. It's agency within reality. Click for the full shownotes Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
You Don't Need More Freedom. You Need Better Constraints | David Epstein - EP 818
Have you ever felt like you need more options, more time, more freedom, or a bigger opportunity before you can finally make progress? What if the opposite is true? Today, John R. Miles sits down with New York Times bestselling author David Epstein, author of Range and The Sports Gene, to explore why constraints can sometimes unlock the creativity and focus that unlimited freedom cannot. David's new book, "Inside the Box," challenges one of our most deeply held assumptions: that more freedom is always better. Sometimes, having too many possibilities makes it harder to decide what matters, where to focus, and what to do next. David explains how constraints can channel us into productive experimentation—and why some of the biggest breakthroughs begin with a much smaller problem than we expect. He shares the surprising reality behind the Mendeleev story, revealing how a simple textbook problem helped lead to the periodic table. He also explains what the failure of General Magic can teach us about innovation, why UPS discovered that its routing problem was really a change-management problem, and how Pixar uses constraints and small experiments to improve its biggest creative projects. John and David also dive into one of the biggest challenges of modern life: protecting our attention. David shares how research by Gloria Mark changed the way he works, why constant task switching can increase stress, and how he now structures his day around monotasking, batching, and deliberately protecting his attention. In this episode, you'll learn: Why more freedom and more options aren't always betterHow constraints can actually increase creativity and innovationThe surprising truth behind the Mendeleev and periodic table storyWhy many breakthroughs begin with a much smaller problemWhat the failure of General Magic teaches us about innovationWhy defining the right problem may matter more than finding the perfect solutionHow UPS turned a technology problem into a learning and change-management problemWhy people need to understand change before they will trust itHow to protect your attention in a world designed to fragment itWhy multitasking may be damaging your ability to think deeplyHow to identify the bottleneck that's actually slowing your progressThe bigger lesson is one David returns to throughout the conversation: Sometimes the answer isn't to escape the box. It's to look more closely at what's inside it. Because the problem right in front of you may not be the obstacle to your next chapter. It may be the doorway. Click for the full shownotes Download the FREE Companion Digital Workbook. Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
World’s Most Influential Psychologist: The Hidden Force That Drives Human Progress | Dr. Martin Seligman – EP 817
Have you ever reached a point where you stopped believing that what you do could actually make a difference? Maybe you tried harder. Maybe you kept showing up. But after enough setbacks, rejection, or disappointment, something inside you started asking, "Why bother?" Today, John R. Miles sits down with Dr. Martin Seligman, one of the most influential psychologists of our time and a pioneer of positive psychology. For more than six decades, Seligman has studied learned helplessness, optimism, resilience, and human flourishing. His new book, Agency: The Psychological History of Human Progress, brings that work to a much bigger question: What makes individuals—and entire civilizations—believe they can shape the future? Seligman explains that agency is built from three capacities: efficacy, optimism, and imagination. Together, they give us the ability not only to believe that we can act but also to envision a future worth acting toward. But this conversation goes far beyond individual psychology. John and Marty explore what happens when agency becomes collective, why societies need to balance “I can” with “we can,” and how mattering and agency may be connected. Marty argues that our actions begin shaping our sense of self through the responses we receive from other people and the world around us. When our actions repeatedly produce no response, learned helplessness can take hold. They also take the conversation into the future of AI, education, creativity, and human possibility. Seligman describes how AI is already allowing him to test ideas that once would have taken years to investigate—and why he believes the technology could become an extraordinary amplifier of human agency. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why Seligman believes agency—not just happiness—is central to human flourishingHow learned helplessness became the foundation for his lifelong study of human agencyThe three psychological capacities that make up agency: efficacy, optimism, and imaginationWhy some people stop acting when their efforts repeatedly fail to produce a responseHow agency and mattering may reinforce one anotherWhy the future may depend on balancing “I can” with “we can”What ancient civilizations can teach us about the psychology of human progressHow AI is changing the way Seligman conducts research and thinks about creativityWhy education may need to shift from teaching children to be “smart” toward character, leadership, kindness, cooperation, and flourishingWhat Seligman hopes his grandchildren—and future generations—will believe about human possibilityThis is ultimately a conversation about one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves: Do I believe that what I do can make a difference? Because agency doesn't mean believing you control everything. It means believing that your actions still matter. Click for the Full shownotes Download the FREE Companion Digital Workbook Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
You Are Not the Only Variable: When to Change Yourself and When to Change Your Environment | John R. Miles - EP 816
Have you ever worked harder and harder at something, only to wonder why nothing seems to change? You may assume the answer is that you need more discipline, more motivation, or more grit. But what if the problem isn't you? Today, John R. Miles explores that question through two very different lenses: Angela Duckworth's research on how situations shape our behavior and Jared Diamond's work on when individual leaders actually make a difference. John also puts both ideas to the test in his own life after spending two weeks in Blue Ridge, Georgia, where he discovered that he felt calmer, clearer, and more patient—not because he had become a different person, but because he was no longer in the same environment. But there's another side to this. Sometimes the environment really is the problem. And sometimes you are the person the moment requires. Jared Diamond's "Hamlet Test" asks whether someone else could have produced the same outcome. His comparison between Harry Truman and William Shakespeare reveals the difference between being replaceable and being uniquely suited to a moment. John brings both ideas together into the Fit Check: two questions that can help you figure out whether you need to change yourself, change your environment, or simply stop avoiding the work that only you can do. In this episode, you'll learn: Why trying harder isn't always the answerHow your environment can bring out completely different versions of youWhy grit and willpower are sometimes not enoughHow to tell the difference between a bad day and a bad environmentJared Diamond's "Hamlet Test" for determining when someone truly mattersWhy some people are replaceable in one situation but indispensable in anotherHow to recognize the moments when the outcome genuinely depends on youThe two questions in John's Fit CheckHow to stop wasting energy trying to win in environments that work against youHow to identify the moments that deserve your full attentionThe goal isn't to become someone who can thrive anywhere. It's to become wise enough to know which rooms you need to change—and which moments are yours to own. Check the Full Shownotes here. Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
World-Renowned Historian: When Leaders Actually Change History | Jared Diamond - EP 815
What makes someone a great leader? Is it talent? Timing? Character? Circumstance? Or simply being the right person in the right place at the right moment? Today, John R. Miles sits down with Pulitzer Prize-winning historian and bestselling author Jared Diamond to explore one of the biggest questions in his new book, Profits, Profits, Profits, Coaches and Kings: When Do Leaders Matter? After spending decades studying civilizations, geography, human societies, and why nations succeed or collapse, Diamond has turned his attention to leadership. And his answer challenges the way we usually think about great leaders. Some leaders genuinely change history. Others recognize an opportunity that history has already created. And some may be talented, successful, and famous—but would not have made much difference if someone else had been in their place. In this conversation, Jared explains how he uses history as a series of “natural experiments” to separate the impact of a leader from the circumstances surrounding them. You’ll learn: When leaders actually matter Why some leaders are uniquely qualified to change history—and most aren't How timing and circumstance can determine whether a leader succeeds The difference between creating an opportunity and recognizing one Why Churchill was a great wartime leader but far less effective in peacetime What Harry Truman can teach us about leadership and courage Why founders can have an outsized impact on the institutions they leave behind How the “Hamlet test” reveals whether someone was truly indispensable What Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, and John Wooden reveal about distinctive leadership Why leaders should be judged partly by what happens after they leave Why leadership is about more than techniques—and why philosophy matters And Jared shares one of his most important lessons for leaders: Stop looking for the one most important thing. Great leadership, he argues, is about getting the many important things right. This is a conversation about leadership, history, circumstance, and legacy—but ultimately, it raises a question every leader should ask: If you disappeared tomorrow, what would actually be different because you were here? Click for the Full Shownotes Download the FREE Reflection Guide here. Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
World-Leading Psychologist: How to Change Your Life by Changing What’s Around You | Angela Duckworth - EP 814
If you’ve been trying to change your life but keep falling back into the same habits, this episode is for you. Today, John R. Miles sits down with Angela Duckworth, one of the world’s leading psychologists and the bestselling author of Grit. Angela has spent her career studying why some people are able to achieve their goals and reach their potential. But in her new book, Situated, she shares a powerful idea that changes the way we think about personal growth. We tend to believe that change comes from within. We tell ourselves to be more disciplined. Try harder. Find more motivation. Have more willpower. But Angela explains that we often overlook something incredibly important: what’s around us. The people we spend time with. The spaces where we live and work. The mentors we learn from. And the culture that surrounds us. All of these things are shaping our behavior more than we realize. The good news is that you don't always have to force yourself to change through sheer willpower. Sometimes, changing your situation can make it easier to become the person you want to be. Angela shares her research-backed framework for understanding the four parts of your environment that can shape your life: your space, your peers, your mentors, and your culture. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why changing what’s around you can help you change your life Why grit and willpower alone are not enough How the people around you shape your behavior and goals How to create an environment that makes better choices easier Why the right peers and mentors can change what you believe is possible How workplace and social culture influence who you become The four parts of your situation you can intentionally change How to make your environment an ally instead of an obstacle This episode is about taking a different approach to change. Because sometimes the answer isn’t to ask yourself to try harder. Sometimes, you need to look around and ask: What in my life is making it harder to become who I want to be? Click for the full Shownotes Download the FREE Companion Reflection Guide for The Adaptive Human series here. Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Never Doing Enough | Caleb Campbell - EP 813
If you constantly feel like you should be doing more, achieving more, or becoming more, this episode is for you. Today, John R. Miles sits down with Caleb Campbell, a former NFL player and author of the new book Unstriving. For much of his life, Caleb believed that success would finally make him feel like he was enough. But after spending years pursuing achievement and reaching goals he once dreamed about, he discovered something many high achievers eventually learn: You can get what you wanted and still feel like you're not enough. Today, Caleb is sharing a different way to think about ambition, success, and the pressure so many of us feel to constantly prove ourselves. His message is not about giving up on your goals or becoming less ambitious. It's about learning how to pursue the things that matter to you without making your worth dependent on whether you achieve them. You can use this advice for anything: Your career. Your goals. Your relationships. The pressure you put on yourself. The next accomplishment you're chasing. The part of your life where you keep thinking, “Once I get there, then I'll finally feel like enough.” In this episode, you'll learn: Why success and achievement can never permanently make you feel like enough The difference between healthy ambition and constantly striving for approval Why reaching a major goal can sometimes leave you feeling empty How to stop tying your identity to your performance What Caleb learned from pursuing his dream of playing in the NFL How to pursue big goals without losing yourself in the process Why you don't need to stop being ambitious to stop striving This is an episode for anyone who has ever felt exhausted by the pressure to constantly do more, be more, or prove more. By the end, you'll have a different way to think about success—and a clearer understanding of what it means to pursue your potential without making achievement responsible for proving that you matter. Read the full Show Notes Download the FREE Companion Digital Workbook Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
30 Years of Research Reveals Why Midlife Isn’t a Crisis | Margie Lachman - EP 812
What if everything you’ve been told about midlife is wrong? If you’ve ever worried that your best years are behind you, that it’s too late to change, or that getting older automatically means losing your energy, purpose, or sense of possibility, this episode is for you. Today, John R. Miles sits down with Dr. Margie Lachman, a leading lifespan psychologist and author of Primetime: A New Vision for Midlife, who has spent more than 30 years studying what actually happens to us during the middle years of life. Margie reveals why the idea of a “midlife crisis” is largely a myth—and why midlife can actually be one of the most powerful periods of growth, confidence, purpose, and control. She explains why you are not locked into who you are, why the choices you make in midlife can shape how well you age, and how your relationships, health, and sense of purpose can influence the decades ahead. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why midlife isn't the crisis we've been led to believe it is Why your personality and sense of control can continue to change Why it’s never too late to make meaningful changes How your choices in midlife can affect your health later in life Why purpose and contribution become so important as we age How giving and receiving support affects your well-being Why staying connected can protect against loneliness and isolation What “generativity” means and why it matters How to think differently about the second half of your life This is an episode about challenging the story you've been told about aging—and realizing that you may have far more time, possibility, and influence over your future than you think. Your best years may not be behind you. They may be ahead of you. Catch the full show notes. Download the FREE Digital Workbook. Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing. Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you. Connect with John Website: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/ Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it. Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads. Disclaimer The Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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