Bloodline Banter
Gentle Parenting is for Gentle Children
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re coming in hot after scrapping an entire episode, and apparently that was all it took for us to completely lose the plot. We start with Landon preparing for a potential trip to jail over a forgotten ticket—mugshot merch, wanted posters, and a bail-out plan already in the works—only to find out the whole crisis could be solved with $200. From there, Riley has officially joined the Tesla cult, soup season is threatening every ounce of weight-loss progress we’ve made, and one trip to Walmart sends us into a full-blown discussion about children running wild and the way we were raised. Somehow we also find time to discuss Sydney Sweeney, why Sonic needs to bring back roller-skating carhops and the two-guys-in-a-car commercials, our lifelong dreams of Dancing with the Stars, terrible car names, why sprinkles ruin perfectly good desserts, and the absolute chokehold Southern injury-lawyer billboards have on the interstate. Then we get into cheaters, liars, karma, tables that always turn, people who have officially exhausted every ounce of our patience, scared drivers, Riley’s introduction to interstate driving, and why Todd Chrisley may be one of the greatest trash-talkers to ever walk the earth. Basically, if you’ve ever forgotten something important, hated a sprinkle, panicked while merging onto the interstate, waited patiently for karma to do its job, or realized halfway through a conversation that you have absolutely no idea how you got there… this episode is for you. Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: MASA Chips: Ready to give MASA a try? Go to http://MASACHIPS.com/BANTER and use code BANTER for 25% off your first order. Cozy Earth: Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code BANTER for an exclusive 20% off on home and sleepwear. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Church, Grits & T**s... (ft. Danae Hays)
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, the one and only Danae Hays is joining us, and buckle the hell up because this one goes everywhere Danae takes us back to her small-town Alabama roots, tells us how the legendary Sharon Jean came to life, and explains why her girlfriend Jen is still trying to make sense of Southern phrases like “used to could” and “tumped it over.” We get into growing up in the South, homemade banana pudding, college softball, one unforgettable trip to church that somehow involves Nick Saban, and why Milo’s sweet tea apparently has powers nobody warned us about. From there, the conversation goes completely off the rails. We swap some of our most ridiculous Southern stories and somehow end up talking about horse energy healers, hallucinations, Ambien nightmares, questionable million-dollar inventions, Southern church culture, Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, and a breakfast strip club that absolutely nobody asked for. Basically, put three Southerners in a room with microphones and eventually somebody’s going to say something that probably shouldn’t leave the room. If you’ve ever said something that makes perfect sense in the South but sounds absolutely insane everywhere else, this episode is for you. Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Olive App: Go to www.oliveapp.com/banter and use code BANTER for 50% off all memberships.Remi: Go to http://shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 55% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save until the end of August Cure Hydration: Go to http://curehydration.com/BANTER and get 20% off your first order with promo code BANTER LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell Danae Hays: Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@danaehays Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/danae.hays Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/danaehayscomedy Website - http://www.danaehays.com
She Hates Sweet Tea.. Get Her OUT
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, our best friend Kiersten joins us for an episode that goes completely off the rails — and casually drops the news that she’s leaving Nashville and moving back to Texas. Before we can properly mourn the friendship, we have bigger problems to address: apparently she doesn’t like sweet tea, cornbread, collard greens OR chicken casserole, so naturally her entire Southern identity comes into question. We recap church homecoming, the mountain of casseroles that got us through the service, our night at the Grand Ole Opry, and the absolutely miserable Texas trip that ended with a 4:30 a.m. airport run, somebody throwing up and somebody else desperately needing a bathroom. Kirsten also gives her uncensored assessment of our personalities, joins us for Bloodline Brain Check, and takes a seat on the bench for Cousin Counsel — where fake friends and one absolutely unhinged monster-in-law are brought before the court. If you’ve ever gone to church for the potluck, questioned somebody’s Southern credentials, survived a trip with your best friends, or had an in-law who desperately needed to mind their own damn business, this episode is for you. Thank you to these sponsors: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Olive App: Go to www.oliveapp.com/banter and use code BANTER for 50% off all memberships. Amble Health: Curious about NAD+ therapy? Learn more through a convenient online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. If prescribed, treatment is shipped directly to your door. Visit joinamble.com (https://joinamble.com/) to see if NAD+ therapy may be right for you. ZBiotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell Kiersten Newman: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kierstennewman_?utm_source=qr Amazon Storefront - http://amazon.com/shop/thetravelingtrendsetter Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@kierstennewman_?_r=1&_t=ZT-99P8wONXcVB Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/kierstennewmann?mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=Y71jTAgO1VEhbXzV&share_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fshare%2F1PGywV7HGS%2F%3Fmibextid%3DwwXIfr
Someone Puked on my Legs!?
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where absolutely nothing was planned and somehow everything became a topic. This week, we’re bouncing from why the Smoky Mountains are basically Vegas for Baptists and the absolute robbery happening at the gas pump, to childhood reading logs, school lunches, cartoons, fast-food burger rankings, and why nobody has 35 minutes to caramelize an onion. We also get into Walmart refusing to accept Apple Pay, questionable childhood punishments, pronunciation crimes at Mexican restaurants, self-care days, and the very real problem of having to behave in public because apparently people actually recognize us now. And, naturally, the episode ends with a story involving a bar, a Grimace Bomb, and the possibility that Landon got thrown up on. If you’ve ever lied on a summer reading log, considered a horse and buggy because gas is too damn expensive, or realized halfway through a story that maybe it shouldn’t be told publicly… this episode is for you. Thank you to these sponsors: Olive App: Go to www.oliveapp.com/banter and use code BANTER for a 7-day free trial plus 50% off your annual membership. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqa1FKM3Q5RUtuaTlKWFhtR2l2UU5JLU96RlRNUXxBQ3Jtc0trQTdpcm5oVVZLYjA3UU5YbEpuTGlOOXV1YmZaVDZOVDhhcVRWVUFIYnBNR3hNTUdPcUlGR01BTjJVem9xT0xicUFvcUpJcTl1a2ltLWRpb1VMQXRnVHl0YzBtZU5ocTkzSVhwMlpfTDNGZXkyS2I5Zw&q=https%3A%2F%2Ftryfum.com%2Fbloodline&v=mmd16scynO8) and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Landon had a Warrant?!
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re running on no sleep after spending nearly 24 hours at the hospital waiting on Landon’s sister to have her baby—and somehow eating our way through half of Chattanooga in the process. We recap the chaos of the waiting room, the birth, and everything that happened during one very long day. Then we get into grandparents feeding squirrels biscuits, people from our hometown who cannot stay out of jail, the absolute scam that is adulthood, our distrust of bathroom locks, and why doing laundry might be one of the worst household chores ever invented. We also take a turn into true crime and share our very unqualified opinions, theories, and questions about the Lindsay Clancy trial before putting our remaining brain cells through another round of Bloodline Brain Check. If you’ve ever spent an entire day waiting on a baby, eaten your feelings out of boredom, stalked your hometown mugshot page, questioned every decision you’ve made since becoming an adult, or avoided a pile of laundry like your life depended on it… this episode is for you. Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: Olive App: Go to www.oliveapp.com/banter and use code BANTER for a 7-day free trial plus 50% off your annual membership. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Rock The Country: Get your tickets for Ocala on 8/28 and 8/29 today at http://rockthecountry.com to see Brooks & Dunn, Jon Pardi, Lauren Alaina, Blake Shelton and more! LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - mailto:team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
The Baby is Coming.. Order Cracker Barrel
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we’re all over the place in the best way possible. We kick things off with Riley’s completely unhinged dream involving Canada, a Ferris wheel, some famous friends, and somehow our old high school guidance counselor before taking a trip down memory lane to talk about what we were actually like in high school—and the advice we’d give anyone having to survive it now. Then we get into the real issues facing America: kids running wild in Walmart, whether August is too early for fall decorations, being absolutely sick of sweating, and why we’re already ready for chili, chicken and dumplings, flannels, and weather cold enough to require a jacket. From there, things naturally spiral into sardines, cucumbers, pickled pig feet, TikTok Shop taking over our For You Pages, and why not everybody with a phone needs to become a salesman. We also give a little life update on everything happening lately. We’ve officially started vlogging, we’re banking mukbangs and extra content for our upcoming Patreon, and apparently we’re one conversation away from booking a completely unnecessary trip to the Bahamas. Landon is also getting ready to become an uncle, complete with a Louis Vuitton push present for his sister and plans to turn the hospital waiting room into a catered family reunion. And because we’re physically incapable of staying on one subject, we get into questionable hibachi restaurant health scores, blue-rare steak, Riley’s inability to sit still without tapping, clicking, shaking, or fidgeting with something, and about fifteen other conversations we had no business getting into. By the end of it, we’ve solved absolutely nothing, offended several food groups, planned a vacation we haven’t booked, and somehow made a case for turning a labor and delivery waiting room into a church fellowship hall. Just another productive week at Bloodline Banter. If you’ve ever wanted to hear two people go from pickled pig feet to hospital catering to a spontaneous Bahamas vacation without finishing a single thought in between, you’re in the right place. Grab a snack, get comfortable, and thanks for hanging out with us! Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: Remi: Go to shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save until the end of August. Cure Hydration: Go to curehydration.com/BANTER and get 20% off your first order with promo code BANTER. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Spin The Pencil
If your family has ever claimed they could heal burns, predict babies, or cure warts... this episode is for you. Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week we're swapping some of the wildest Southern family stories we've ever heard including our cousin, who could actually talk the fire out of a burn, our Granny that could rub warts away, and the old pencil-on-a-string trick that somehow always seemed to predict whether someone was having a boy or a girl. Some people call it witchery, we call it a gift from the Lord. We also revisit one of the scariest childhood moments we've ever experienced after a gas heater accident left Landon looking like the bottom of a brick oven pizza. We pitch a couple of million-dollar invention ideas, recap a night out on Broadway in Nashville that got out of hand faster than expected, and somehow end up in a heated debate over food. We reveal exactly how we make a Totino's pizza by absolutely burying it under layers of provolone, American cheese, and mozzarella until it barely resembles the pizza that came out of the box, and we defend a family lasagna recipe that's guaranteed to divide the internet. Whether you're here for the unbelievable family stories, million-dollar ideas, questionable food opinions, or just looking for a good laugh, this episode has a little bit of everything. Grab a snack, get comfortable, and thanks for hanging out with us! Remember to Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. Thank you to these sponsors: Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement Amble Health: Curious about NAD+ therapy? Learn more through a convenient online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. If prescribed, treatment is shipped directly to your door. Visit joinamble.com to see if NAD+ therapy may be right for you. ZBiotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Did That Painting Just Blink?!
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where our life advice is free for a reason and our luck on the interstate is somehow even cheaper. This week we're talking about the piece of metal that flew off a semi and absolutely destroyed Landon's car, why an ordinary drive turned into an interstate demolition derby, and whether moving to Franklin might actually be worth the headache. We also recap our trip to an antique shop that felt one exorcism away from being shut down, where every room seemed more haunted than the last and we're still not convinced we didn't accidentally bring something home. Plus, we get into what it really takes to make this podcast, why putting out two episodes a week is a lot harder than some of y'all think, and an idea we've been kicking around to let you in on even more of the behind-the-scenes chaos. Then we each reveal the seven things we think are actually worth spending your money on, call out a few purchases we think are a complete waste, somehow discover there are still basic facts we definitely should've learned in school, and answer everything from surviving your first cruise to handling a significant other with road rage and whether Oklahoma deserves all the hate it gets. And of course, make sure you stick around for a deeply unqualified but wildly confident advice segment known as Cousin Counsel. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel at team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com. If you've ever had your day ruined by somebody else's stupidity, defended an expensive purchase by calling it an investment, or realized your confidence and your intelligence don't always arrive at the same time, this episode is dedicated to you. Thank you to these sponsors: Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Remi: Go to shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 55% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save until the end of August Cure Hydration: Go to curehydration.com/BANTER and get 20% off your first order with promo code BANTER. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Welcome Back to Big Back Banter
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week includes waking up four separate times just to eat, willingly paying $200 to have our chest hair ripped out, and making the case that an egg in ramen is one of the greatest culinary inventions of all time. Food completely takes over this episode as we rank the ultimate Southern breakfast and dinner, debate the meals that raised us, and somehow spend way too long defending why adding an egg to ramen turns it into an elite meal. From cathead biscuits covered in gravy, fried potatoes, soup beans, meatloaf, and country fried steak to Hamburger Helper, fried bologna sandwiches, and the best “struggle meals” money can buy, this episode is basically one long love letter to comfort food. Of course, we get distracted along the way. We talk about waking up four different times in one night just to snack, surviving the pain of getting our chest, belly, and back waxed, whether a $300 electric toothbrush is actually worth it, my grandmother’s limited-edition Corvette getting hit by a deer, and the traffic situations that make road rage feel almost unavoidable. If you’ve ever treated ramen like a gourmet meal, argued that Southern food can’t be beat, or found yourself standing in the kitchen at 2 a.m. convincing yourself one more snack won’t hurt, this episode is for you. Thank you to these sponsors: Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - mailto:team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
A Case of the Clam Slams
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we're covering everything from why the internet thinks Landon secretly got married to whether Texas deserves to be called part of the South. We kick things off by catching up after a few days apart, talking sleep scores, Botox appointments, spending habits that may or may not be getting out of hand, and why planning a vacation sounds a whole lot easier than actually booking one. Along the way, we dive into Love Island drama, debate whether Chihuahuas have any chance of making it to heaven, and explain why pet insurance might be one of the smartest purchases we've ever made. From there, things spiral into one of our favorite debates yet: what actually makes someone "Southern?" We compare Texas to the Deep South, defend sweet tea as a personality trait, argue over chili with beans, and explain why growing up in Georgia shaped just about every opinion we have. We also talk about quitting vaping, why neither of us went to college because we refused to live with a roommate, Landon's complete trust in his self-driving Tesla, Riley's obsession with cooking the perfect steak, and why A1 steak sauce will always have a place at the dinner table no matter what the internet says. Naturally, we couldn't leave without discussing why healthy food may be good for your body but terrible for your spirit, the foods we'd eat every day if calories didn't exist, and how somehow a conversation about pineapple and the weather turned into one of the funniest rabbit holes of the episode. If you've ever argued over what counts as "the South," been accused of something you definitely didn't do on the internet, or believed a good steak deserves A1 no matter what anyone says... this episode is for you. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Thank you to these sponsors: Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter. This is a paid advertisement Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter. Füm: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bloodline-banter/id1869700162 Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Shadrach, Meshach, and the Billy Goat
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we’re sweating like rotisserie chickens, arguing that Dolly Parton may have outdone Buc-ee’s, and trying to solve the mystery of why someone’s charcoal-coated ground beef landed on Riley’s apartment windowsill. We spiral into Southern heat that’ll make you question your deodorant, Landon’s solo beach trip complete with shark sightings and fake IDs, the app that’s judging everything in our grocery carts, and the people risking their lives for proposals and world records because apparently a normal hobby isn’t enough. We also catch up on Gus and Coco before diving into another round of absolute chaos. Then we tackle your unhinged submissions, including whether a phone dropped in a porta-potty is worth saving, a workplace crush that could end in disaster, and the single most disgusting roommate story we’ve ever heard involving a toothbrush. If you’ve ever walked outside in the South and immediately started sweating in places you didn’t know could sweat, had your thighs fighting for their lives in the humidity, or questioned every decision that led you to leave the air conditioning… this episode is for you. Thank you to these sponsors: Amble Health: Curious about NAD+ therapy? Learn more through a convenient online consultation with a licensed healthcare provider. If prescribed, treatment is shipped directly to your door. Visit https://joinamble.com/ to see if NAD+ therapy may be right for you. Olive App: Download the Olive App using the link below and start your 7-day free trial to scan your food, household products, and more. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-food-cosmetic-scanner/id6739765789 Olive: Food & Cosmetic Scanner Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter (http://forthepeople.com/bloodline). This is a paid advertisement Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit http://cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Email - mailto:team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
The Last Supper Better Have Fried Chicken
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we somehow manage to turn a conversation about sleep scores into a full-blown debate over vodka, Chick-fil-A, and what we think Heaven's menu looks like. We kick things off comparing our Oura sleep scores before diving into our drinks of choice, why dirty martinis taste like salad dressing, and whether vodka sodas are actually enjoyable or just punishment in a glass. From there, Riley shares his latest weight loss struggles, we discuss emotional eating, Nashville life, and why we've both somehow managed to gain weight since moving here. Things quickly spiral into ranking cereals, arguing over the best DoorDash order, exposing Chick-fil-A's biggest mistakes, and explaining why the 8th Avenue location might need to be rebaptized. We also debate kale salads, grilled nuggets, cereal with bananas, rice cakes, and whether Wingstop is a healthy dinner or just another excuse to avoid cooking. Then, because this is Bloodline Banter, we take a sharp left turn into theology and imagine what the Last Supper in Heaven would actually look like. Fried chicken, collard greens, mashed potatoes, carrot cake, Hidden Valley Ranch, zero calories, and absolutely no guilt. We somehow end up talking about Adam and Eve, the Garden of Eden, and why Heaven might just have the greatest Sunday lunch of all time. We also chat about solo vacations, Netflix road trips, reality TV dreams, vlogging, grocery shopping addictions, Walmart sightings that should honestly require therapy, and why texting someone "we need to talk" before disappearing for eight hours should be considered emotional terrorism. Cousin Counsel also returns with a few listener situations that spark some strong opinions, questionable advice, and the kind of conversations that could probably start an argument at the family dinner table. If you've ever judged someone's drink order, gotten personally offended by soda water, wondered if Heaven serves mac and cheese, yelled at kids running wild through Walmart, or seriously questioned why anyone would buy groceries without scanning them first... this episode is for you. Thank you to these sponsors: Ziotics: Go to ziotics.com/banter and use code BANTER for 15% off your order. Olive App: Download the Olive App using the link below and start your 7-day free trial to scan your food, household products, and more. https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-food-cosmetic-scanner/id6739765789 Morgan and Morgan: If you’ve ever been injured, and need real legal help, you can check out Morgan & Morgan, America’s Largest Injury Law Firm. For more information, head to forthepeople.com/banter (http://forthepeople.com/bloodline). This is a paid advertisement. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter. LET'S GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/ Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter Email - team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Landon Mauk: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/ Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/ TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@realrileymitchell
Some Things You Don’t Buy Used
This episode starts with our sleep scores and somehow spirals into childhood illnesses, public school memories, and why Southern people can turn a double-wide into a luxury estate with enough porch additions and Home Depot lumber. We also relive some of our finest moments, including getting kicked out of Lowe's after making announcements over the intercom, debating whether private school kids are "kettle cooked," and questioning why Apple keeps making us buy charging blocks separately. Things only get more unhinged from there. We discuss the absolute horror of used sex toys being sold on Facebook Marketplace, traumatic dentist experiences, root canals, veneers, and why Landon was once threatened with a straitjacket at the dentist's office. Then we tackle the important issues: could you survive being vegan for a year? Were mosquitoes actually on Noah's Ark? Did God create cows specifically so we could enjoy filet mignon? And why does chunky peanut butter feel like a personal attack? Plus, we talk flip-flops, Southern church culture, weight loss journeys, Royal Caribbean buffets, and put each other through another round of Bloodline Brain Check that proves we might not actually be smarter than fifth graders. And of course, Cousin Counsel is back with relationship dilemmas involving secret subscriptions, social media insecurities, and engagement FOMO. If you've ever played on the display kitchens at Lowe's, lived with a junk drawer that won't close, or questioned why anyone would buy a used pelvic massager online… this episode is for you. Go to shopremi.com/BANTER and use code BANTER at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save. Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter LETS GET SOCIAL: Bloodline Banter: Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/bloodlinebanterofficial/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@bloodlinebanterofficial/) Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@bloodlinebanter) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/Landonmauk) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/itslandonmauk/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/Landon.mauk) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/landonmauk/) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - (https://www.snapchat.com/@rileygmitchell3) Instagram - (https://www.instagram.com/realrileymitchell/) Tiktok - (https://www.tiktok.com/@rileygmitchell) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61562003576933)
Y'all Better Start Praying
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we're catching up after another weekend on the road and discussing the realities of traveling across the South, from long-haul road trips and festival crowds to the point where you finally decide you're too old to spend fourteen hours in a vehicle. We recap our time at Rock the Country, share some of the more interesting characters we encountered along the way, and debate whether there is any destination worth driving to when an airplane is an option. We also get into apartment life and the never-ending battle of trying to make a place feel like home. Landon has decided it's time for a complete redesign and has become convinced he can transform his apartment into a classic old-money masterpiece with the help of ChatGPT, while Riley remains unconvinced that a few brass accents and vintage photos can save some of the decorating choices currently hanging on the walls. Along the way, we tackle modern tipping culture and where the line should actually be drawn, discuss the strange ways people choose to help others, and dive into some of the uniquely Southern phrases and pronunciations that make absolutely no sense but somehow still survive generation after generation. We also debate whether the average person could actually land a commercial airplane during an emergency, why some people seem far too confident in skills they definitely do not possess, and how social media has convinced everyone they're an expert on everything. As always, things spiral into conversations about relationships, family dynamics, personal boundaries, and the kinds of situations that make you question what is going on in the world. From shocking dating revelations and relationship timelines to stories that will leave you genuinely speechless, this episode covers a little bit of everything. We wrap things up by talking about future plans, major purchases, and the dangerous combination of having access to the internet and enough confidence to convince yourself you need a brand-new vehicle immediately. If you've ever survived a miserable road trip, questioned modern tipping culture, attempted to redecorate your apartment, met someone who was way too confident in their abilities, or heard a story that made you stop and say "there is absolutely no way," this episode is for you. SPONSORS: ZBiotics: Go to zbiotics.com/BANTER to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use BANTER at checkout. Olive App: Download the Olive App to claim your 7-day FREE trial! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olive-holistic-food-scanner/id6739765789
Everyone is Replaceable (ft. Abby Lee Miller)
Welcome back to Bloodline Banter! This week, we're joined by the one and only Abby Lee Miller, and from the moment she sits down, the conversation goes completely off the rails. Abby gives us a major life update, talks about what she's been up to since television, shares her thoughts on some of her former dancers, and opens up about recent health developments. We also dive into the realities of life after Dance Moms, what people still get wrong about her, and what's next for her moving forward. Of course, Landon wastes absolutely no time asking Abby how fast her wheelchair goes and immediately compares it to a Bugatti, which somehow launches us into one of the funniest conversations of the episode. Abby also relentlessly roasts Riley and Landon for never seeing a Broadway show, questions our life choices, and proves she's still every bit as outspoken as you'd expect. If you've ever watched Dance Moms, wondered what happened after the cameras stopped rolling, love hearing stories you won't get anywhere else, or just enjoy listening to two idiots get roasted by Abby Lee Miller, this episode is for you. Disclaimer: Due to an unexpected technical issue, the video portion of this episode ends about halfway through. The full episode audio is available and uninterrupted. SPONSORS: Cowboy Colostrum: Use code BANTER at checkout for 25% off your entire order or visit cowboycolostrum.com/banter. FUM: Visit https://tryfum.com/bloodline and use code BLOODLINE to receive a free gift with your Journey Pack. SUBMIT YOUR STORIES / COUSIN COUNSEL: team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com Bloodline Banter: Instagram - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Tiktok - ( / bloodlinebanterofficial ) Snapchat - ( / @bloodlinebanter ) Email - (team@bloodlinebanterofficial.com) Landon Mauk: Snapchat - ( / @landonmauk ) Instagram - ( / itslandonmauk ) Tiktok - ( / landon.mauk ) Facebook - ( / landonmauk ) Riley Mitchell: Snapchat - ( / @rileygmitchell3 ) Instagram - ( / realrileymitchell ) Tiktok - ( / rileygmitchell ) Facebook - (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...)
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